This is Rated T
by suicidal milk
Summary: Watching Rin lick the popsicle was like watching her coughing on his cough! Rated T for Terrible Puns! RinXLen again!
1. In the kitchen

Edit: Cleaned up spelling mistakes.

**Hints of: RonaldXMiku.**

**Serious Disclaimer: I really do not own Ronald McDonald/Golden arches and whatever that's related to McDonalds, rly. But..I...I love McDonalds's ice cream though...please don't sue?**

* * *

They were in the kitchen, flirting around and whispering in each others ears, oblivious to the entire world.

Ronald McDonald was beside his one and only love, Hatsune Miku as they were huddled together, speaking in low tones, as if any louder they go, it would jeopardize their sweet sweet soft serve relationship. If you get what I mean.

"Now, you put the sugar bit by bit in this, and mix it with your hands." Ronald demonstrated. "You have to feeeeeeeeel it with your fingers, if you do, then it would definitely turn out yummy." If you get what he means.

Miku licked her lips and nodded. She was right to invite him over, looking at him do his things, making his signature soft serve ice cream; such wonderful hands, how she wished they were somewhere else. If you get what she means.

"You know what," Miku gently looked at him, "I think I would love it if you put _your_ patty in _my_ burger." If you get what she means.

Ronald did a double take, did his lovely Miku just say that! How climatically erotic! He felt his milkshake spurt out of its cup. If you get what I mean.

"Would you like fries with that, Miku?" He cooed. If you get what he means.

"Only if the fries are long and thick..." If you get what she means.

"Oooh! I assure you they're tasty. You can even try _the_ happy meal!" He nudged at her. If you get what he means.

"But that's for kids!" She hit him lightly. Well, she **is** underaged, but does she still count as a loli? If you get what she means.

"Ahah! But it comes with a free _toy_." Ronald waggled his eyebrows and looked at his _toy_. If you get what I mean.

Miku clapped with glee.

"I'll make sure you'll never ever want the drive-thru." If you get what he means.

"Ronald, please work gently." Miku whispered as she flicked away the bangs that fell over her right eye.

"Oh why yes!" Ronald McDonald licked his red painted lips. Miku loves his lips, so, red, like his red bushy hair, so, overdrawn, so, so, dreamy. Like a Mcflurry.

"I'm lovin' it." Miku sighed in bliss.

Ronald leaned closer and closer as Miku shut her eyes.

"HEY CLOWN! IS OUR LUNCH READY YET?" Rin yelled from across the hall.

"Stop it Rin! Ronald-san is nice enough to come over to cook for us." A loud swat could be heard as Len smacked Rin on her head.

Rubbing her soon forming bruise, Rin pouted. "...Right."

* * *

"I guess we better hurry, Ronald!" Miku giggled. "Oh, and please wipe the milkshake you spilt on the counter when you were reaching for the spatula."

Ronald absentmindedly nodded. "I think you better stay a little further from the stove if you don't want the oil to splatter on to you again, Miku."

"And. Do not. Do not. Share the recipe I just told you. Don't let our whisper session go to waste." Ronald winked at Miku before continuing to fry his patties.

"Teehee, sure thing! But you better be careful too! You're standing really close to the grill pan. The oil might get onto your eyelid like how it did to mine!" She warned as she cleaned her face with a tissue. "Thank god it wasn't boiling hot."

Miku then reached over to grab her free Ronald McDonald miniature figure toy she got from her Happy Meal. Miku then smirked because she knew Rin would be super jealous of her new figurine.

...

...

...

Did you get it?

* * *

A/N: I don't know how would Ronald sound like; I've only heard him saying Lan Lan Lan Kore ga Kore ga Kore ga Lan Lan Luuu Luuu Luuu, for those who have watched Ronald McDonald Insanity...

It says MikuXRin, well, because, Ronald isn't there on the list.


	2. In the living room

Warnings: It's back! And two times lamer.

**Hints of: RinXLen. Luka walking in on them.**

* * *

When he was opening his eyes, he caught a glimpse of it. Holy mother! She was changing! In front of him! And her black bra was showing!

The first thing Len did was to stare at her back, then her neck, then her rack. _Blonde hair and cherry lips, wow, shagedelic baby~!_ Len whistled.

She approached him sexily and all Len could do was focus on her boobies. His hands on the _hard weapon_ she just _gave_ him. If you get what I mean.

"Len," Rin nudged him. "Stop staring and start moving." If you get what she means.

Darn. A good moment spoilt. But back to the **main** business. If you get what he means.

Len crouched lowly, carefully moving, Rin's hand on his, controlling the controller. If you get what she means.

Slowly cocking his gun, he aimed with precision, not wanting to miss the _head_ shot. If you get what he means.

Rin noticed that his pants were soiled. If you get what I mean.

"Len!" She hissed, "Learn to control yourself! Why are you moving so quickly?"

He ignored it and continued his movements, trying to make as little noise as possible, in order to not alert the others. If you get what I mean.

A loud moan was heard.

Luckily, no one heard it. _Yet._

His stamina was decreasing slowly. Len decided if he wanted to finish this, he better hurry up. If you get what he means.

Len was at the verge of discharging when she stopped him. Again. If you get what I mean.

"No, no! Don't. Shoot. It. There." She whimpered. "What if something bad happens..."

"Then where I am supposed to do it!" He bit out harshly, his hand already on the trigger, ready to unload anytime. If you get what he means.

"Here..." Rin's hand guided him, "See, do it here. Lower, lowerrr, yeah, there. But do it _carefully_..." If you get what she means.

Len questioned discreetly, "Are you sure we should do this." To which Rin nodded in reply.

"I've seen Gakupo and Kaito do it a million times, don't worry." If you get what she means.

Len's eyebrow shot up. _Okaaaaaaay. So the adult men like doing this too._

"And I heard if you use a _stun gun_," She whispered even softer, as if the word was a kinky taboo, "the effect would be even _better_." If you get what she means.

Len was silent for a while, "...Okay, here goes nothing," letting his _firearm_ go off. If you get what he means.

"Ohhhhhh goooooooddddddddddddddddd!" Rin's voice resonated around the house causing Luka, the only one at home, besides the twins, to hurry to the living room.

* * *

Rin wailed, "SNAKEEEEEEE! SNAKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! DAMNIT! SNAKEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Speaking in sync with Para-Medic, also another hot lady, as Snake, the protagonist of Metal Gear Solid: Snake Eater, gets killed by a horde of enemies.

Len covered his ears and promptly yelled back, "Riiiiiiinnnnnnn! Chill! It's only a game. Stop shouting!"

"But-but, Leeennnnn! Snake just died!" She pouted, looking back at the screen, the words '**SNAKE IS DEAD**' reflecting back at her. Luka stood behind the couch, looking on the sibling squabbling.

"You're overreacting! Commanding my every move! It's kinda annoying, sis!" Len mimicked, "_Don't shoot this soldier_! _Move there a little_!" A little frustrated, he clicked 'yes' to restart the scene of Snake crawling under the muddy porch to silently kill enemies.

"But I was just trying to help..." Rin pretended to cry, sniffling very loudly. Ignored were the screams of moaning and dying soldiers in the background. "And pleeeeaseeee, Len, stop using the tranquilizer and actually use the freakin' gun she gave you!"

"Speaking of her, you know, you only get so little time to peek at EVA's boobies with the R1 function!" Len growled at her.

"Mehhhh, are you sure you're not dying on purpose so you could replay that scene over and over again?" Rin scoffed. "And besides, only childish people like _you_, Gakupo and Kaito play games like Metal Gear Solid."

"Didn't _someone_ say that she finished playing this on extreme mode and knows _all_ the Kerotan locations?" He stared at her briefly before continuing his game. "Hmmmm, Rin?"

"...Shut up stupid Len." She crossed her arms.

Luka smiled as she ruffled both their hairs, "Stop fighting, children. Now who wants some takoyaki?"

...

...

...

* * *

A/N: THAT WAS LAME. AND yes, I'm outdated. I only started playing MGS recently (it's a 2004 game and also the first MGS game I've ever played), and by golly, the R1 function that's supposed to be the binoculars function can also be used to zoom in, ahem, places.

You can find the scene mentioned above on youtube. Also, search SNAKE EATER MEETS EVA and watch it. I guess _this_ is why it got the game of the year award...

**Ending Disclaimer: It's here because, if I mentioned it above, EVERYONE'LL KNOW THEY'RE NOT REALLY HAVING SEX, NO? Don't own Vocaloids, nor EVA's hot rack. And no, MGS is not childish, I'm not trying to diss it. Ehehehe. **


	3. In Heaven

**Disclaimer: Happy New Year of Le Dragon! On to the New Year Fic now! Oh wait, this is for me saying I don't own Vocaloid. And the songs used.**

**Hints of: LenXRin**

Oh yes, changed the title again. I think it's going to stick this time. Unless I change the ratings...

* * *

It was pure bliss. Len didn't care if he was dreaming or not, this was too good to be true!

They were in Heaven. Rin was wearing a skimpy two piece golden bling-bling bikini (look how it sparkles in the sun!), sitting on some cloud thingie, yeah, cloud thingie, hmm, let's call it cloud chair. Yeah, cloud chair. She was leaning on the cloud chair, her legs crossed, as she licked onto her popsicle slowly, her little pink tongue licking the cold dessert.

His legs turned to jelly! This must be a dream! No way that stupid popsicle takes 3 hours to finish! Unless if it's magical! And that would prove that he must be dreaming! But he didn't care! Watching Rin lick the popsicle was like watching her coughing on his cough!

Yes! This fan fiction is rated T, therefore any word(s) that would change the rating would be automatically censored with a cough! What an abuse of the exclamation mark!

Her eyes were half lidded, how sexy! And she looked oh so wonderfully glorious in that red majestic rape! Cough! I mean cape!

_Oooh_, why wasn't anyone cuffing him now! He was sure he was going to jail, because, surely looking at such a beautiful creature directly with his plebeian eyes must be a sin!

He stared jealously at that popsicle as one melted drop fell onto her b-b-b-bosom! Kyaaaaa~!

Wait! Did he just fangirl squeal?

She then flipped and turned around to lie on her front. What the hell! What the hell! He's staring at her bling-bling bikini wearing ass right now! He wiped some drool off his chin.

THIS MUST BE ILLEGALLLLLLLLLLLLLL!

Len continued to stare as he heard some background music. Wait. Two background music mixing with each other. No. Three. Very. Bad. Songs. Mashed. Together.

_**I'm too sexy for this shirt, too sexy, make my pee pee go doing~doing~ I'm too sexy for Japan, too sexy that I almost jizzed in my pants~**_

…A very bad remix indeed.

Her cloud chair now changed into a love seat as Rin sat up, still holding that lovely popsicle. She then moved to look at Len, using her finger to motion him over.

Len stood agape. Him? She asked him to go over? You mean him? Who's wearing a stupid angel-like outfit, with a cloth wrapped around his body, and with fake stick on cardboard wings?

He pointed at himself again to ask, "Y-you're calling for m-m-m-me, m-m-m-my Q-Q-Q-Queen?"

Len almost wanted to slap himself. He's such an embarrassment! Urgh!

Rin smiled, flipping her hair, nodding sweetly, her hand holding the sweet popsicle.

He was about to exploded at any moment now. He scooted closer, gulping.

She patted the empty space beside her, her hand holding the marvelous popsicle.

Kyaaaaa~! She wants him to sit beside her!

He quickly made himself comfortable beside his goddess, his hands fidgeting on his lap.

"I grant you King for a day! You can do anything you like!" Her voice sounded so sweet, her hand holding the wonderful popsicle.

"R-r-r-really? " She nodded, her hand holding the delicious popsicle. "Thencanyoucloseyoureyesforme?" Len spoke too fast for his own liking.

Rin giggled, her hand holding the amazing popsicle. "As you wish, my king!"

What Len wanted to do was to give her a little peck on her cheek. I'm sure, all of you are wondering, why, just a little kiss, when he can do ANYTHING he wants for today? Simple! Because this fan fiction is rated T!

Cheering silently, he looked at her as her eyes fluttered close, her hand holding the enjoyable popsicle.

_Oh boy! Oh boy! Here I come! _He closed his eyes as he leaned in to give a long smooch.

_I'm kissing her! I'm kissing her oh so soft skin~! _Suddenly, he heard a voice-

"Ewwegaahhhh! Len! Dude, that's so uncool." A disgusted Kaito looked at him, wiping the spot where Len kissed him on his cheek. Len opened his eyes, sticking his tongue out wipe on his clothes.

"…WHAT THE COUGH?" Len pushed Kaito away. "WHAT THE COUGH ARE YOU DOING IN MY DREAM!"

"…I heard there was ice cream…" Kaito spoked quietly.

"COUGH YOU, KAITO! YOU JUST COUGH-BLOCKED ME FOR A STUPID POPSICLE?" Len yelled.

"…Sorry. D: " Kaito's mouth became a D.

"SORRY ISN'T ENOUGH, YOU DUMB COUGH!" Placing his hands on Kaito's neck, he proceeded to kill the poor Ice-Cream Lover.

Poor thing! He's turning as blue as his scarf already!

"LENN! NO!" Len ignored Kaito's strangled cry as he strangled harder.

"ALSOO! LENNNN! S-STOP MAKING BAD PUNS WHEN YOU THINK, LEEENN!"

"...DIE KAITO!"

"LEEENNNN!"

"LEENNN!"

"LEN!"

Meiko slapped Len awake.

"M-Meiko-nee-chan! Why'ja slap me!" Len cradled his stinging face.

"Uh, sorry, you were out cold for 3 hours." Meiko let go of him, letting Rin smother him with her cheek rubbing hug.

Rin cried out, "Len! You were stampeded by hoards of housewives when we were rushing into that New Year's Sale! I thought you went to Heaven!"

_Well, I did, and saw you in a- _Len blushed. Well, no kiss, but at least he wasn't dreaming anymore.

"Okay, kids, no more New Year Sale next time. Thank god we didn't need to send you to a hospital, Len." Meiko sighed.

"Yeah, Len! I was so worried!" Kaito kneeled to look at him.

Len only flipped him the finger.

"What did I do wrong now!" Kaito looked up at Meiko.

She could only shrug.

* * *

Poor Kaito…? Lol. Cough.

A/N: Ahhh, sorry for making your eyes bleed. I don't know what came over me to write this! I salute K~T-rated writers, it is actually extremely _hard_ to make it under the M radar! (Ooh, hard~ _Hard_ what?*is shot*)

Mixed "I Jizzed In My Pants", "Ass Like That", and "I'm Too Sexy" for the background music. I'm so lameee. Yeah, sing that bad mashed up remix with the "I'm Too Sexy" by Right Said Fred's tune. Do it. Do it!


End file.
